“What? Take a breath.”
“No, I’m fine. I just can’t stand people, you know.”
“Okay. Yesterday. One of my friends, I’ll call him V, says he wants me to meet his new girlfriend. I’m not in the mood, actually, but I wasn’t doing anything. So I meet them downtown. She’s not unattractive. She’s not unintelligent. I usually get a good feel for people within minutes of meeting them. You probably have something to say about that, but it’s true. So we are walking along, heading to the museum. She’s perky and bouncy. She says that she just has to see the Dali exhibit. And then she stops and gets in my face and says that V. told her I just bought a Porsche.
‘The model…you know–‘
“The truth is I couldn’t afford a used hubcap for a used Porsche right now.”
‘DId you buy a red Cayman?’ she asks all smiles.
‘I did. Yeah. A Cayman. Red.’
‘Was it a GTS or a GT4?’
‘Which is more expensive?’
‘The GT4 is like $84,000.’
‘Yeah, I that one…number 4’
“So I was walking faster saying things like ‘We better get to that Dali exhibit soon…to beat the crowds.’ V. and his annoying girlfriend were struggling to keep up. I just didn’t want to talk to her. But there was no stopping her.”
‘Shit. I’d rather go to your place and take a ride in that red Cayman GT4.’
“And she gets V. to start yapping about taking a ride in my brand new red Cayman GT4.”
‘Yeah. Well.. I actually…What was I thinking? That Cayman, my new car…my C., my friend C.–he borrowed it today.’
‘Really?’ “And she’s got that grin pasted on her face. That “GOTCHA!” kind of grin.”
“By this time, I’m sweating. My stomach hurts. My temples are pounding. I feel the migraine coming on.”
‘What difference does it make? Whether it’s his or mine? I use it as though it’s mine.’
“I mean, we all lie a little don’t we. We all exaggerate. And we give people the benefit of the doubt. We don’t start cross-examinations for Christ’s sake. But that girl she thinks she’s so cute just because she won’t allow anyone to be a little careless.”
And then he blew out three or four large sighs. And waited.
“And you are angry with her?” I asked.
“I’m fucking insane. At the time, I wanted to kill her. Makes me insane just thinking about it.”
“Okay. I am thinking that anger might be your… default setting.”