Trump’s Message on International Women’s Day

Donald-Trump-Iowa-REUTERS-800x430-678x381Good afternoon.  This is the Donald.  Happy Women’s Day.  Many, many, many women voted for me.  You saw them celebrating (millions) the day after the Inauguration. They love me.  Millions voted for me.  And I have the utmost respect for women and want to officially honor them this day.  I love those who are 10s. The ones who are high up on the fuckability charts. Those you want to see in higher heels and smaller swimsuits.  Those you want to see on their knees.  Like my daughter Ivanka. And I helped create her. She’s 6 feet tall. She’s got the best body. If she weren’t my daughter I’d probably be dating her. Not so much the women like Carly Fiorina– I mean look at that face! And of course not those flat-chested ones–they can never be 10s.  But I have respect for women. I love to  grab their pussies. The ones I force to kiss me. They love it.  I’m attractive to women.  I respect them.  Not that one Miss Universe– that Miss Piggy.  God could she eat!  I used to keep a fat picture and show it to Ivana when she was gaining weight.  Works like a charm.  Not Hillary Clinton– I mean I shlonged her just like Obama did. Women like her are always playing that woman card, the one that gets them sexually assaulted more than any normal woman. I mean if Ivanka got harassed at work, I’d tell her just to quit. Those are the breaks of being an attractive woman. And not the ones who have abortions– they need to be punished.  And not the Muslim ones– they aren’t even allowed to speak.  Of course that’s probably better than the ones who can’t shut up because of all those hormones. Then they get angry and unreasonable, and then there’s blood coming out from wherever. And not those so-called business women breast-feeding their offspring…disgusting.  I respect women reporters.  I do. It doesn’t really matter what they say as long as they are young and have a beautiful piece of ass. I mean I would’ve and could’ve nailed Princess Diana.  I respect her. Beautiful.  In fact, I respect them so much I once made a list of the ones I’d like to nail in order:

Melania Knauss (now my wife)
Ivana Trump (my first wife)
Princess Diana (dead)
Michelle Pfeiffer
Cameron Diaz
Julia Roberts
Cindy Crawford
Mariah Carey (I’m not racist)
Gwyneth Paltrow (half-Jew)
Diane Sawyer

And so I’d like to conclude by wishing every woman a beautiful International Women’s Day. Beauty and elegance, whether in a woman, a building, or a work of art, is not just superficial or something pretty to see. Thank you. God Bless Me and God Bless the President of the United States of America.

 

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